Entirely Possible

I'm fairly sure, it's entirely possible I have Undiagnosed ADHD. WHY?... 

Well let me list the symptoms I see in myself. 

  Zoning out on uninteresting conversations. 

 This is hard for me to admit as it feels really rude and disrespectful, but if the conversation is not stimulating enough then my mind drifts to other things or just blanks out whilst the person is talking to me. 

Hyper-focusing on tasks 

Sometimes I will focus on a task to the detriment of everything else. For example if I am doing a jigsaw puzzle, I cannot stop half way through. I have to complete it, even if I have to forego sleep and it takes me hours. 

Losing things frequently 

I misplace everyday items (i.e., car keys or purse) while my brain is on autopilot. I Lose track of where an item is placed after a moment of inattention, like putting down my phone while I cook something in the kitchen then forgetting about it for 10 minutes. Then i have too retrace my steps to find it. I am always storing things in the wrong places (i.e., work papers in my car, dirty dishes in the bedroom). 

Impulsivity and Risk Taking 

I overspend, I gamble, I eat impulsively. 

Difficulty staying on topic in conversations and keeping track. 

I interrupt to make sure I tell you something because I feel like if I wait I will forget what I was going to say. 

Expressing Sympathy 

The way that I communicate sympathy with others is by telling them a situation where a similar thing has happened to me. People think I am always turning the conversation to myself and being selfish but it is just my way of showing people that i understand what they are going through. 

Overthinking and catastrophizing (RSD) 

I will lie awake at night thinking about that thing that I did or said and worrying if I offended someone or thinking "I shouldn't have said that/ Done that." If my manager at work says to me "Can you come to the office for a quick chat?" my brain automatically starts to panic and I am thinking "oh no! what did I do wrong? Am I going to be in trouble or lose my job?" when really it is just quaterly update or catch up. 

Constant music playing in my head 

This can be both a blessing and a curse as I can have the same tune stuck in my head for days, but it also helps to pass the time or alleviate boredom. Just recently I watched the Godfather trilogy and had the theme tune music stuck in my head repeating over and over. My brain also creates playlists of music like a rabbit hole, jumping from one song to the next or a song I associated with a certain phrase I am thinking at the time like "Its almost home time" triggers Its the final countdown, Do Do Doo Doo Da Da Da Da Dum. 

Volatile emotions 

I am Impatient when under stress, I have explosive outbursts of anger, I have persistent irritability, I get surges of anger when met with everyday obstacles and I have frequent and reactive mood changes. 

I feel like there are more symptoms but I could be here forever and there are already so many. Upon self reflection this makes my life make so much more sense. 

This blog is hopefully going to be my documentation of getting diagnosed and sharing my experiences whilst helping myself to understand and be more aware about my ADHD. 

 Signing off Jess X.